Sunday, June 01, 2003
Mom's being moved to Mayo Clinic + the Renaissance Festival
I'm planning on going to the Renaissance festival today. I'm having a gentle morning mom's rush back to the hospital last night was intense. I'll call and check in after coffee, food, bath.
In the tub I'm listening to pain bodies tossing scary negative phrases at me, suggesting there will be inconsolable pain in the future.
Suddenly I hear: "Pain is temporary".
Buddha tells me-
"When focused in ego - happiness is temporary."
"When focused in eternity - pain is temporary."
Mom calls. Luther Hospital is moving her to Rochester Mayo. Mom said based on the cat scans the cancer is back and all through her bowels. Originally they thought the bowel obstruction was from the previous surgery. Mom is totally depressed and frightened. She gives me those 'last words' the one speech I have never wanted to hear. I tell her everything is going to be great, to have no fear, she is totally taken care of, that she is going to be well, have a fast recovery and the doctors will all be calling it miraculous.
Fear is constriction and separation from the divine. The one thing I want her out of immediately is fear.
After hanging up I'm thinking what can I do? I have already done a distance reconnection healing on her, asked and thanked the Goddess for healing her, asked the angels to assist in healing and protection.
There's a couple of phrases that come through my head over and over in mantra form, one that pops in my head now is: "My will is your will, your will is my will, my love is your love, your love is my love, my word is your word, your word is my word."
I get fed an interpretation on 'my love is your love, your love is my love', I love my mother, the Divine loves my mother. It's all going to be great. Mom's going to be great.
Next thought, call Renee and have her do a distance Reconnection Healing on mom. Haven't spoken to Renee since November when she did my Reconnection. Get her on the phone, my heart burst open with love, she said she get to work right then, she already felt a pressure behind her navel and asked about the bowel obstruction. Made out the check right then and mailed it.
Sat down and started a distance reconnection. I'm focusing on the energy and on the flow of divine love flowing constantly through me. It's total rapture. I'm amping up the love in the mix.
Now, whether or not to go to the Festival. My intention to go was very close to a promise. Seems like not going is like a negation of the divine. My job is to be the Chariot of Heaven, to stay connected to my soul, to the divine, to reveal heaven. Maybe others would stay home, I trust in the divine. Also, not to be cold, but if something horrible happens, I need to continue to do my job. As the tour guide for the goddess I think she would best be served by exploring the Festival.
The festival rocked. :)
Amazingly met Elise there while leaving, a dance anthropologist, and was able to have a stimulating conversation on the event with her.
The Goddess bought me oils and a beautiful glass bottle, meat on a stick, a soda, had me attend a joust participating by being a part of a cheering crowd, showed me a number of armored fight styles, saw colorful outfits, the pines, sky, earth, and joy. I'm so in love, I'm so grateful.
In the tub I'm listening to pain bodies tossing scary negative phrases at me, suggesting there will be inconsolable pain in the future.
Suddenly I hear: "Pain is temporary".
Buddha tells me-
"When focused in ego - happiness is temporary."
"When focused in eternity - pain is temporary."
Mom calls. Luther Hospital is moving her to Rochester Mayo. Mom said based on the cat scans the cancer is back and all through her bowels. Originally they thought the bowel obstruction was from the previous surgery. Mom is totally depressed and frightened. She gives me those 'last words' the one speech I have never wanted to hear. I tell her everything is going to be great, to have no fear, she is totally taken care of, that she is going to be well, have a fast recovery and the doctors will all be calling it miraculous.
Fear is constriction and separation from the divine. The one thing I want her out of immediately is fear.
After hanging up I'm thinking what can I do? I have already done a distance reconnection healing on her, asked and thanked the Goddess for healing her, asked the angels to assist in healing and protection.
There's a couple of phrases that come through my head over and over in mantra form, one that pops in my head now is: "My will is your will, your will is my will, my love is your love, your love is my love, my word is your word, your word is my word."
I get fed an interpretation on 'my love is your love, your love is my love', I love my mother, the Divine loves my mother. It's all going to be great. Mom's going to be great.
Next thought, call Renee and have her do a distance Reconnection Healing on mom. Haven't spoken to Renee since November when she did my Reconnection. Get her on the phone, my heart burst open with love, she said she get to work right then, she already felt a pressure behind her navel and asked about the bowel obstruction. Made out the check right then and mailed it.
Sat down and started a distance reconnection. I'm focusing on the energy and on the flow of divine love flowing constantly through me. It's total rapture. I'm amping up the love in the mix.
Now, whether or not to go to the Festival. My intention to go was very close to a promise. Seems like not going is like a negation of the divine. My job is to be the Chariot of Heaven, to stay connected to my soul, to the divine, to reveal heaven. Maybe others would stay home, I trust in the divine. Also, not to be cold, but if something horrible happens, I need to continue to do my job. As the tour guide for the goddess I think she would best be served by exploring the Festival.
The festival rocked. :)
Amazingly met Elise there while leaving, a dance anthropologist, and was able to have a stimulating conversation on the event with her.
The Goddess bought me oils and a beautiful glass bottle, meat on a stick, a soda, had me attend a joust participating by being a part of a cheering crowd, showed me a number of armored fight styles, saw colorful outfits, the pines, sky, earth, and joy. I'm so in love, I'm so grateful.
