Thursday, December 25, 2003
Ok, this is unexpected. The energy of this day feels dismal. My heart chakra is closed. When I put my consciousness in any place in my body I feel the joy/ecstasy. When I send my focus to my heart, it feels like it's behind a tall closed gate. It's like the quality of the day has a profound sadness to it. A withdrawn spiritual energy. I can feel my body vibrating in ecstasy like a circle as shiny light, with a dark quietness for the heart. It's like a withdrawal of divine energy.
It's so weird to feel ecstasy and profound sadness at the same time. The abyss and the light. Consciousness alighting on both, sampling.
Ekhart Toll and Crowely's contemporary.. guys name.. who both say feel the energy inside any part of your body are right. That part is always there. It's the huge direct feed, the one that pumps from the heart that is sometimes veiled, the spiritual direct cord to the divine. The only other time this happens is Yom Kippur or the 9th of Av, when god withdrawals. So... god withdrawals??? Spiritual short circuit??? Too much soul sadness??? Way high suicide time.
Normally I hear, You and I are One, (the divine and I are one), today I heard, 'Humans and I are One'. Yikes! So.. well that means the plight of the humans flows through me, they suffer, I feel it. So, potentially there is some Human energy that being in human form we are all connected to. hmm.. Well, then the idea of simply serving as a conduit of Heaven, of Joy and Ecstasy does enter the Human experience at large.
Well, I lit a bunch of candles to help share the burden of this feeling of darkness.
Even Spring seem sober.
Today is the 6th day of Chanakah. Moses - Eternity. He who walked with G-d. Interesting that it all feels so sober. hmm.. Looking forward to lighting the menorah tonight!!!! Change the channel. hehe I'm grateful for Dr. L when he said about the soul fear I felt at YK, to take the opportunity to really feel the experience, and see what is there. It's like being able to see the stars when the sun sets. Can pick up the nuances.
Ahh Christmas music playing on the sat digital computer sys. 'christ the lord' .. sing sing.. something .. I feel so so sorry for Christians, they have been so lied to, trapping good and holy souls behind miss truths and false beliefs. They could have it all in an instant, perhaps we failed them. Perhaps we should have created something more concrete for them. Hopefully those that are of the Church who care will reform it and let the truth they buried rise back to the top.
Living as a heavenly being on earth, and knowing the final outcome, I am so careful to leave people alone, to let them do and evolve on their own, make their own choices. Yet I feel their suffering and would liberate them if they were to choose it.
It's so weird to feel ecstasy and profound sadness at the same time. The abyss and the light. Consciousness alighting on both, sampling.
Ekhart Toll and Crowely's contemporary.. guys name.. who both say feel the energy inside any part of your body are right. That part is always there. It's the huge direct feed, the one that pumps from the heart that is sometimes veiled, the spiritual direct cord to the divine. The only other time this happens is Yom Kippur or the 9th of Av, when god withdrawals. So... god withdrawals??? Spiritual short circuit??? Too much soul sadness??? Way high suicide time.
Normally I hear, You and I are One, (the divine and I are one), today I heard, 'Humans and I are One'. Yikes! So.. well that means the plight of the humans flows through me, they suffer, I feel it. So, potentially there is some Human energy that being in human form we are all connected to. hmm.. Well, then the idea of simply serving as a conduit of Heaven, of Joy and Ecstasy does enter the Human experience at large.
Well, I lit a bunch of candles to help share the burden of this feeling of darkness.
Even Spring seem sober.
Today is the 6th day of Chanakah. Moses - Eternity. He who walked with G-d. Interesting that it all feels so sober. hmm.. Looking forward to lighting the menorah tonight!!!! Change the channel. hehe I'm grateful for Dr. L when he said about the soul fear I felt at YK, to take the opportunity to really feel the experience, and see what is there. It's like being able to see the stars when the sun sets. Can pick up the nuances.
Ahh Christmas music playing on the sat digital computer sys. 'christ the lord' .. sing sing.. something .. I feel so so sorry for Christians, they have been so lied to, trapping good and holy souls behind miss truths and false beliefs. They could have it all in an instant, perhaps we failed them. Perhaps we should have created something more concrete for them. Hopefully those that are of the Church who care will reform it and let the truth they buried rise back to the top.
Living as a heavenly being on earth, and knowing the final outcome, I am so careful to leave people alone, to let them do and evolve on their own, make their own choices. Yet I feel their suffering and would liberate them if they were to choose it.
