Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Tonight is the 5th night of Chanakah, Yakov, Beauty. I love you goddess. I love you. I am surrounded in beauty. The room, the candles, Spring. Watching the candles go out to see who is last, the wicks are always wicks, they change their phase, and yet they are always wicks. They are wicks unlite, burning, folding down, smoking like tiny embers. (I exist in human form, different stage of human form.)The smoke is like satin ribbon, turning, ruffling. Seeing the smoke is like watching a hidden universe, something that exists yet is not seen by others.
I'm so ecstatic. Bursting into song and clapping. Feel like a reed, so much energy and not very anchored. I wonder what is going on today, do I need to anchor to the earth or let go and focus on the energy? Like a bit of a headache at the top of my head. Sending my consciousness as a focus, ok.. It's my 3rd eye, either it's a ton of energy, or it's dry sinus... Ok, pressing against my sinus, pressing against my 3rd eye, it's defiantly the 3rd eye. Ok, this sounds odd, think my 3rd eye has migrated further up my forehead. The indent in my skull in the middle of my forehead is closed and the indent is now open as a circle in the ridge where my forehead meets my hairline. Wonder why my skull is changing shape? Back in the day with M, it was because of the beings that she was connecting with, I am not striving to connect with those beings. Got to guess this is some natural evolution of the human body. Perhaps..
Well hang on.. Tiferet, beauty, upper triangle, the heart chakra... I'm a love being, instead of my heart pounding.. Huge energy is restructuring 3rd eye... Is that upper triangle work? Cool thing about tiferet is it's the first of the blended seferoit that non kabbalists would see as blended. Well, guess I'll suck down some aspirin. No wonder I'm not grounded. Also I've been getting sleepy early, like 8 pm. Perhaps my form is under more major reconstruction. Perhaps the realizations from Sunday opened the portal of acceptance to go with the new construction.
Anyway, each night of channaka has brought unexpected gifts. First night, while menorah was lit and latkes were cooking, Emma from downstairs came up with a gift. :) I had already bought channaka party stuff only thing missing was guests, build it and they will come. hehe
I'm so ecstatic. Bursting into song and clapping. Feel like a reed, so much energy and not very anchored. I wonder what is going on today, do I need to anchor to the earth or let go and focus on the energy? Like a bit of a headache at the top of my head. Sending my consciousness as a focus, ok.. It's my 3rd eye, either it's a ton of energy, or it's dry sinus... Ok, pressing against my sinus, pressing against my 3rd eye, it's defiantly the 3rd eye. Ok, this sounds odd, think my 3rd eye has migrated further up my forehead. The indent in my skull in the middle of my forehead is closed and the indent is now open as a circle in the ridge where my forehead meets my hairline. Wonder why my skull is changing shape? Back in the day with M, it was because of the beings that she was connecting with, I am not striving to connect with those beings. Got to guess this is some natural evolution of the human body. Perhaps..
Well hang on.. Tiferet, beauty, upper triangle, the heart chakra... I'm a love being, instead of my heart pounding.. Huge energy is restructuring 3rd eye... Is that upper triangle work? Cool thing about tiferet is it's the first of the blended seferoit that non kabbalists would see as blended. Well, guess I'll suck down some aspirin. No wonder I'm not grounded. Also I've been getting sleepy early, like 8 pm. Perhaps my form is under more major reconstruction. Perhaps the realizations from Sunday opened the portal of acceptance to go with the new construction.
Anyway, each night of channaka has brought unexpected gifts. First night, while menorah was lit and latkes were cooking, Emma from downstairs came up with a gift. :) I had already bought channaka party stuff only thing missing was guests, build it and they will come. hehe
