Wednesday, December 31, 2003
! CW 15055[150:55]>
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### Dain II Ironfoot wishes all Central Americans out there
### A H A P P Y N E W Y E A R !
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### Dain II Ironfoot wishes all Central Americans out there
### A H A P P Y N E W Y E A R !
###
Going 'in' being fully the experience is a different experience than having the unconscious mind in, holding the joy while using the conscious mind to figure out what is happening.
Right now, I'm looking at what is happening. What is happening is still theory. Knowing it is interesting, and it may help in translating the experience to others.
However knowing what is physically happening is not the same as going in. Its like being at a door that is radiating light. Stepping through the door the mind vanishes. The light floods in. Everything is done as right action, right livelihood, knowing, the mind is small, watching, asking questions, listening, inside is pure light, pure heaven, it's my natural home, the only place I truly wish to be.
Here in the hall, looking at the door, I am in the rational mind, the analytical mind that discourse, examines, investigates, the mind that can not follow when inside the door of pure light. This mind is the scientist gathering information, samples, to share with the world, to create updated self perceptions with.
The gal at the Meadows said, feed the mind and it will heal the emotions/perceptions. The mind is amazing, this incredible supercomputer. Wetware at it's finest.
Now here's the mind blow, part of 'heaven watch'. One of the clues to heaven is synchronosity. So here's this one. Just as I'm pondering consciousness, personality, and perception, my TiVo records a Nova episode on the mysteries of the brain. And in the episode, the discussion of consciousness. More to follow. :)
Right now, I'm looking at what is happening. What is happening is still theory. Knowing it is interesting, and it may help in translating the experience to others.
However knowing what is physically happening is not the same as going in. Its like being at a door that is radiating light. Stepping through the door the mind vanishes. The light floods in. Everything is done as right action, right livelihood, knowing, the mind is small, watching, asking questions, listening, inside is pure light, pure heaven, it's my natural home, the only place I truly wish to be.
Here in the hall, looking at the door, I am in the rational mind, the analytical mind that discourse, examines, investigates, the mind that can not follow when inside the door of pure light. This mind is the scientist gathering information, samples, to share with the world, to create updated self perceptions with.
The gal at the Meadows said, feed the mind and it will heal the emotions/perceptions. The mind is amazing, this incredible supercomputer. Wetware at it's finest.
Now here's the mind blow, part of 'heaven watch'. One of the clues to heaven is synchronosity. So here's this one. Just as I'm pondering consciousness, personality, and perception, my TiVo records a Nova episode on the mysteries of the brain. And in the episode, the discussion of consciousness. More to follow. :)
NOVA Online | Secrets of the Mind | The Electric Brain: "Llin�s: The brain is made out of cells. It is a long and very distinguished group of cells -- about 550 million years or so old. These cells have a small mass. Our brain is about one-and-a-half liters, or three pounds, but it has 1010 cells, which is a huge number of cells. Ten billion cells. And each cell has 1,000 to 10,000 or so synapses -- the connections between the cells. So the brain has trillions of synapses."
samadhi, nirvana, deep spiritual bliss
samadhi, nirvana, deep spiritual bliss
many speak of it, I exist in it
many speak of it, I exist in it
Monday, December 29, 2003
Body changes
Heart rate is around 98. Heart rate use to be in 60-70 range. Tested at Walmart today. ;) Blood pressure is about 20 below the normal scale for both measurements. So what is going on? Ekahart Tolle, the only other person that I know who entered this place, trembles. Like one of those small dogs. Amma, who is possibly in this place, don't know because I haven't heard anything of her describing the state she is in, doesn't tremble. M said that I couldn't handle the 'energy' when I was in my 20's and I would have to be in my 30's before my body could handle it, otherwise my body would burn up.
Ok.. so what is happening?
I know my heart chakra is usually blasting. Like a constant rush of joy. Highly activate. (as an aside, when Ron Roth's guy came by to give me a blessing he started by putting one hand over my heart charka, then he apologized and placed it over my head instead, hehe, guess he felt it)
So what about health issues? Well, I do not get sick. Haven't had a cold in 4 years. I'm like the portal of joy and ecstasy into this world. Guess with an active portal like an active volcano, there's going to be a rush. Funny that I live on a volcano. :)
Ok, I'll start doing cardio and measure if it makes any changes in resting and recovery heart rates. Instead of freaking over a heart in hyper drive, I'll just make this a baseline and see what happens.
Heart rate is around 98. Heart rate use to be in 60-70 range. Tested at Walmart today. ;) Blood pressure is about 20 below the normal scale for both measurements. So what is going on? Ekahart Tolle, the only other person that I know who entered this place, trembles. Like one of those small dogs. Amma, who is possibly in this place, don't know because I haven't heard anything of her describing the state she is in, doesn't tremble. M said that I couldn't handle the 'energy' when I was in my 20's and I would have to be in my 30's before my body could handle it, otherwise my body would burn up.
Ok.. so what is happening?
I know my heart chakra is usually blasting. Like a constant rush of joy. Highly activate. (as an aside, when Ron Roth's guy came by to give me a blessing he started by putting one hand over my heart charka, then he apologized and placed it over my head instead, hehe, guess he felt it)
So what about health issues? Well, I do not get sick. Haven't had a cold in 4 years. I'm like the portal of joy and ecstasy into this world. Guess with an active portal like an active volcano, there's going to be a rush. Funny that I live on a volcano. :)
Ok, I'll start doing cardio and measure if it makes any changes in resting and recovery heart rates. Instead of freaking over a heart in hyper drive, I'll just make this a baseline and see what happens.
Sunday, December 28, 2003
Consciousness is etheric and yet it is flavored by flesh, blood, and spittle.
Is it consciousness, or perception, or personality?
When a flashlight is beamed into your eyes, you cannot see darkness.
existence.
Personality, ego, perception. When ramping up and taking the personality of the warrior to do marketing, the personality of the playful child recedes. The whole flavor of existence changes depending upon what actions need to be accomplished, driving what part of the personality needs to be in the fore front. Carolyn Myess book on the archetypical types that each person has in their inner circle drives the point. That each human is guided and driven by something like 12 archetypes. To me the image is like in the first Tomb Raider movie, the statue with many faces. One face got shot off, the head spun and another face moved forward. I guess it's like people relating to the 'roles' they play, homemaker, executive, friend. The energy of a board meeting with postulating and power calculations is hopefully different then when they are playing the 'role' of loving compassionate friend. Perhaps it's like when people reflecting on the many sides a person has. Again the many roles.
Living in a deconstructed reality much of what other's accept as 'common knowledge' doesn't exist for me.
The ladder.
This up and down the ladder. That's my most used self tool. Down the ladder is existing in the ego constructed personality level. Up the ladder is higher into the spiritual consciousness until finally there is no thought, only feeling and doing.
Is it consciousness, or perception, or personality?
When a flashlight is beamed into your eyes, you cannot see darkness.
existence.
Personality, ego, perception. When ramping up and taking the personality of the warrior to do marketing, the personality of the playful child recedes. The whole flavor of existence changes depending upon what actions need to be accomplished, driving what part of the personality needs to be in the fore front. Carolyn Myess book on the archetypical types that each person has in their inner circle drives the point. That each human is guided and driven by something like 12 archetypes. To me the image is like in the first Tomb Raider movie, the statue with many faces. One face got shot off, the head spun and another face moved forward. I guess it's like people relating to the 'roles' they play, homemaker, executive, friend. The energy of a board meeting with postulating and power calculations is hopefully different then when they are playing the 'role' of loving compassionate friend. Perhaps it's like when people reflecting on the many sides a person has. Again the many roles.
Living in a deconstructed reality much of what other's accept as 'common knowledge' doesn't exist for me.
The ladder.
This up and down the ladder. That's my most used self tool. Down the ladder is existing in the ego constructed personality level. Up the ladder is higher into the spiritual consciousness until finally there is no thought, only feeling and doing.
Note to Self, Onions = Swim Goggles
Note to self, take the time to put on the swim goggles when cutting onions, there is a ridiculously large amount of eye pain during and afterwards.
Thursday, December 25, 2003
Ok, this is unexpected. The energy of this day feels dismal. My heart chakra is closed. When I put my consciousness in any place in my body I feel the joy/ecstasy. When I send my focus to my heart, it feels like it's behind a tall closed gate. It's like the quality of the day has a profound sadness to it. A withdrawn spiritual energy. I can feel my body vibrating in ecstasy like a circle as shiny light, with a dark quietness for the heart. It's like a withdrawal of divine energy.
It's so weird to feel ecstasy and profound sadness at the same time. The abyss and the light. Consciousness alighting on both, sampling.
Ekhart Toll and Crowely's contemporary.. guys name.. who both say feel the energy inside any part of your body are right. That part is always there. It's the huge direct feed, the one that pumps from the heart that is sometimes veiled, the spiritual direct cord to the divine. The only other time this happens is Yom Kippur or the 9th of Av, when god withdrawals. So... god withdrawals??? Spiritual short circuit??? Too much soul sadness??? Way high suicide time.
Normally I hear, You and I are One, (the divine and I are one), today I heard, 'Humans and I are One'. Yikes! So.. well that means the plight of the humans flows through me, they suffer, I feel it. So, potentially there is some Human energy that being in human form we are all connected to. hmm.. Well, then the idea of simply serving as a conduit of Heaven, of Joy and Ecstasy does enter the Human experience at large.
Well, I lit a bunch of candles to help share the burden of this feeling of darkness.
Even Spring seem sober.
Today is the 6th day of Chanakah. Moses - Eternity. He who walked with G-d. Interesting that it all feels so sober. hmm.. Looking forward to lighting the menorah tonight!!!! Change the channel. hehe I'm grateful for Dr. L when he said about the soul fear I felt at YK, to take the opportunity to really feel the experience, and see what is there. It's like being able to see the stars when the sun sets. Can pick up the nuances.
Ahh Christmas music playing on the sat digital computer sys. 'christ the lord' .. sing sing.. something .. I feel so so sorry for Christians, they have been so lied to, trapping good and holy souls behind miss truths and false beliefs. They could have it all in an instant, perhaps we failed them. Perhaps we should have created something more concrete for them. Hopefully those that are of the Church who care will reform it and let the truth they buried rise back to the top.
Living as a heavenly being on earth, and knowing the final outcome, I am so careful to leave people alone, to let them do and evolve on their own, make their own choices. Yet I feel their suffering and would liberate them if they were to choose it.
It's so weird to feel ecstasy and profound sadness at the same time. The abyss and the light. Consciousness alighting on both, sampling.
Ekhart Toll and Crowely's contemporary.. guys name.. who both say feel the energy inside any part of your body are right. That part is always there. It's the huge direct feed, the one that pumps from the heart that is sometimes veiled, the spiritual direct cord to the divine. The only other time this happens is Yom Kippur or the 9th of Av, when god withdrawals. So... god withdrawals??? Spiritual short circuit??? Too much soul sadness??? Way high suicide time.
Normally I hear, You and I are One, (the divine and I are one), today I heard, 'Humans and I are One'. Yikes! So.. well that means the plight of the humans flows through me, they suffer, I feel it. So, potentially there is some Human energy that being in human form we are all connected to. hmm.. Well, then the idea of simply serving as a conduit of Heaven, of Joy and Ecstasy does enter the Human experience at large.
Well, I lit a bunch of candles to help share the burden of this feeling of darkness.
Even Spring seem sober.
Today is the 6th day of Chanakah. Moses - Eternity. He who walked with G-d. Interesting that it all feels so sober. hmm.. Looking forward to lighting the menorah tonight!!!! Change the channel. hehe I'm grateful for Dr. L when he said about the soul fear I felt at YK, to take the opportunity to really feel the experience, and see what is there. It's like being able to see the stars when the sun sets. Can pick up the nuances.
Ahh Christmas music playing on the sat digital computer sys. 'christ the lord' .. sing sing.. something .. I feel so so sorry for Christians, they have been so lied to, trapping good and holy souls behind miss truths and false beliefs. They could have it all in an instant, perhaps we failed them. Perhaps we should have created something more concrete for them. Hopefully those that are of the Church who care will reform it and let the truth they buried rise back to the top.
Living as a heavenly being on earth, and knowing the final outcome, I am so careful to leave people alone, to let them do and evolve on their own, make their own choices. Yet I feel their suffering and would liberate them if they were to choose it.
Wednesday, December 24, 2003
Ok, this is wicked. Able to pop this up for typing while waiting on mud partner to take a call. :) Today is tiferet, beauty, feels soft. Awoke noonish. Had xmas music on in office satellite hook up for a while. Wow, is it ever depressing tones. Finally had to switch. Xmas is set up as a drepressing time. It's so based in the ego/illusion world. There's expectations, desires, regrets, reflecting to the past, skipping to the future, all tools of the illusion world. Feeling what the spiritual qualities are of the day, the moment, for me, it's beauty, love, tiferet is heart chakra, love. Very special day for me.
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Sunday in the bathtub came to a new concept. Perhaps my function is to bless.
When younger I was telekonetic. Shut myself down after I caused damage for someone for my own amusement. I was amusing myself rather poorly because I was pissed off. Don't know how I shut myself off, only that I thought 'I shouldn't do that.' However, it's like having an unused skill set. I already know I can do this stuff, it's not a matter of if I can do it or not, it's a matter of how do I get it working again.
Sunday I'm in the tub, warm and comfey, reading a book on Christian history, thinking about use of powers.
I had a empty diet cherry coke can on the side of the tub. As an exercise I started trying different things to get it to move without physically touching it, including asking different ascended masters to move it and after no movement asking angels to move it.. still no movement. Then as I was looking at the can *wham* it hit me how incredible the can was. The nature of the Aluminum and the rock it came from, the vibrancy of the painted graphics, and then a flood of joy in the revealed emanation of the Divine.
And then it hit me.
I am not about the 'powers' thing. I am the I am. I am love. I do not have these other models to work from. Mine is only to be, to listen, to trust the goddess, to be the goddess. It's all one. It's all the divine. It's all love. Each to their own. I do not need to have powers, that has all ready been experienced. I am living love, time to perfect being love.
To use my gifts, love, I no longer have an ego identity, my world is to stay soul connected, to be a pure instrument of my soul/the divine.
I was thinking.. ok, so help me be connected stronger to the divine, show me the truth, knock over this can. *Can remains unmoved.* *Suddenly I truly see the can and go into bliss.*
So, that was the answer. The answer to showing me that I was truly connected was not to perform some spiritual energy over physical energy display (knocking over a can), but to show me the light in the can and take me into the realm of ecstasy.
When younger I was telekonetic. Shut myself down after I caused damage for someone for my own amusement. I was amusing myself rather poorly because I was pissed off. Don't know how I shut myself off, only that I thought 'I shouldn't do that.' However, it's like having an unused skill set. I already know I can do this stuff, it's not a matter of if I can do it or not, it's a matter of how do I get it working again.
Sunday I'm in the tub, warm and comfey, reading a book on Christian history, thinking about use of powers.
I had a empty diet cherry coke can on the side of the tub. As an exercise I started trying different things to get it to move without physically touching it, including asking different ascended masters to move it and after no movement asking angels to move it.. still no movement. Then as I was looking at the can *wham* it hit me how incredible the can was. The nature of the Aluminum and the rock it came from, the vibrancy of the painted graphics, and then a flood of joy in the revealed emanation of the Divine.
And then it hit me.
I am not about the 'powers' thing. I am the I am. I am love. I do not have these other models to work from. Mine is only to be, to listen, to trust the goddess, to be the goddess. It's all one. It's all the divine. It's all love. Each to their own. I do not need to have powers, that has all ready been experienced. I am living love, time to perfect being love.
To use my gifts, love, I no longer have an ego identity, my world is to stay soul connected, to be a pure instrument of my soul/the divine.
I was thinking.. ok, so help me be connected stronger to the divine, show me the truth, knock over this can. *Can remains unmoved.* *Suddenly I truly see the can and go into bliss.*
So, that was the answer. The answer to showing me that I was truly connected was not to perform some spiritual energy over physical energy display (knocking over a can), but to show me the light in the can and take me into the realm of ecstasy.
Tonight is the 5th night of Chanakah, Yakov, Beauty. I love you goddess. I love you. I am surrounded in beauty. The room, the candles, Spring. Watching the candles go out to see who is last, the wicks are always wicks, they change their phase, and yet they are always wicks. They are wicks unlite, burning, folding down, smoking like tiny embers. (I exist in human form, different stage of human form.)The smoke is like satin ribbon, turning, ruffling. Seeing the smoke is like watching a hidden universe, something that exists yet is not seen by others.
I'm so ecstatic. Bursting into song and clapping. Feel like a reed, so much energy and not very anchored. I wonder what is going on today, do I need to anchor to the earth or let go and focus on the energy? Like a bit of a headache at the top of my head. Sending my consciousness as a focus, ok.. It's my 3rd eye, either it's a ton of energy, or it's dry sinus... Ok, pressing against my sinus, pressing against my 3rd eye, it's defiantly the 3rd eye. Ok, this sounds odd, think my 3rd eye has migrated further up my forehead. The indent in my skull in the middle of my forehead is closed and the indent is now open as a circle in the ridge where my forehead meets my hairline. Wonder why my skull is changing shape? Back in the day with M, it was because of the beings that she was connecting with, I am not striving to connect with those beings. Got to guess this is some natural evolution of the human body. Perhaps..
Well hang on.. Tiferet, beauty, upper triangle, the heart chakra... I'm a love being, instead of my heart pounding.. Huge energy is restructuring 3rd eye... Is that upper triangle work? Cool thing about tiferet is it's the first of the blended seferoit that non kabbalists would see as blended. Well, guess I'll suck down some aspirin. No wonder I'm not grounded. Also I've been getting sleepy early, like 8 pm. Perhaps my form is under more major reconstruction. Perhaps the realizations from Sunday opened the portal of acceptance to go with the new construction.
Anyway, each night of channaka has brought unexpected gifts. First night, while menorah was lit and latkes were cooking, Emma from downstairs came up with a gift. :) I had already bought channaka party stuff only thing missing was guests, build it and they will come. hehe
I'm so ecstatic. Bursting into song and clapping. Feel like a reed, so much energy and not very anchored. I wonder what is going on today, do I need to anchor to the earth or let go and focus on the energy? Like a bit of a headache at the top of my head. Sending my consciousness as a focus, ok.. It's my 3rd eye, either it's a ton of energy, or it's dry sinus... Ok, pressing against my sinus, pressing against my 3rd eye, it's defiantly the 3rd eye. Ok, this sounds odd, think my 3rd eye has migrated further up my forehead. The indent in my skull in the middle of my forehead is closed and the indent is now open as a circle in the ridge where my forehead meets my hairline. Wonder why my skull is changing shape? Back in the day with M, it was because of the beings that she was connecting with, I am not striving to connect with those beings. Got to guess this is some natural evolution of the human body. Perhaps..
Well hang on.. Tiferet, beauty, upper triangle, the heart chakra... I'm a love being, instead of my heart pounding.. Huge energy is restructuring 3rd eye... Is that upper triangle work? Cool thing about tiferet is it's the first of the blended seferoit that non kabbalists would see as blended. Well, guess I'll suck down some aspirin. No wonder I'm not grounded. Also I've been getting sleepy early, like 8 pm. Perhaps my form is under more major reconstruction. Perhaps the realizations from Sunday opened the portal of acceptance to go with the new construction.
Anyway, each night of channaka has brought unexpected gifts. First night, while menorah was lit and latkes were cooking, Emma from downstairs came up with a gift. :) I had already bought channaka party stuff only thing missing was guests, build it and they will come. hehe
MUME news today, that's cool
Message 2019 : Harrassing other players (Dáin)
Written on Wed Dec 24 00:02:09 2003
We (the Management) can be very evil people when we find players who
are harrassing other players for their sex, religion, skin colour,
weight, amount of hair (yes, I know I'm going bald, it sucks), sexual
preferences, or anything along those lines.
Refrain from doing this and you will not find your account password
changed or your characters in jail.
- Dain
Message 2019 : Harrassing other players (Dáin)
Written on Wed Dec 24 00:02:09 2003
We (the Management) can be very evil people when we find players who
are harrassing other players for their sex, religion, skin colour,
weight, amount of hair (yes, I know I'm going bald, it sucks), sexual
preferences, or anything along those lines.
Refrain from doing this and you will not find your account password
changed or your characters in jail.
- Dain
