Thursday, January 22, 2004
Depression = death
Woke up lethargic. Sad about mom's news on the cancer. I do not want her to die. Feels like I'm channeling depression. Sadness and tears flowing from my heart.
Depression is flowing from my heart and enveloping my beingness.
I think once a person has suffered from deep life threatening depression, it is as if the depression has left a marker in their being. It's like a complete clothing suit, all ready cut and fitted, ready to wear.
The thing is, to recognize it and immediately begin using the tools to release it.
One tool is to face the fear voice. To that end, I called my mother to find her in an upbeat mood.
Another tool is to take care of the body. To that end, I made breakfast and took my supplements.
Another tool is laughter. To that end, I watched the Ellen DeGeneres talk show, via TiVo interface.
Another tool is play. To that end, I've been playing with Spring, my cat.
Another tool is exercise. Ok.. haven't done it yet, however, once I finish this I'm going for a run.
I already know that depression is deadly. I've already stood on the precipice of suicide. I know depression is something I cannot indulge/linger in.
Using Eckhart Tolle's concepts of Pain Bodies, depression is a pain body that has kicked my ass before and looks for an opening to play it's symphony on my soul. To drain the life from me and leave me a shell.
Depression is like an addiction to alcohol. An alcoholic can't play around with drinking. As an alcoholic I know that to be true.
After eating, laughing, and playing I'm feeling much better. Amazing, Ellen really is putting out the love and joy. While watching her show, my love field kicked right in, and I felt the joy rush. She's doing good work.
Depression is flowing from my heart and enveloping my beingness.
I think once a person has suffered from deep life threatening depression, it is as if the depression has left a marker in their being. It's like a complete clothing suit, all ready cut and fitted, ready to wear.
The thing is, to recognize it and immediately begin using the tools to release it.
One tool is to face the fear voice. To that end, I called my mother to find her in an upbeat mood.
Another tool is to take care of the body. To that end, I made breakfast and took my supplements.
Another tool is laughter. To that end, I watched the Ellen DeGeneres talk show, via TiVo interface.
Another tool is play. To that end, I've been playing with Spring, my cat.
Another tool is exercise. Ok.. haven't done it yet, however, once I finish this I'm going for a run.
I already know that depression is deadly. I've already stood on the precipice of suicide. I know depression is something I cannot indulge/linger in.
Using Eckhart Tolle's concepts of Pain Bodies, depression is a pain body that has kicked my ass before and looks for an opening to play it's symphony on my soul. To drain the life from me and leave me a shell.
Depression is like an addiction to alcohol. An alcoholic can't play around with drinking. As an alcoholic I know that to be true.
After eating, laughing, and playing I'm feeling much better. Amazing, Ellen really is putting out the love and joy. While watching her show, my love field kicked right in, and I felt the joy rush. She's doing good work.
