Tuesday, February 17, 2004
Crushing weight of death mixed with eternal joy
I've been reading more, researching things to find some solutions for mom's stuff. My brother sent me an email saying mom has perhaps only weeks left to live. It so heavy. Today after speaking with mom on the phone I was curled up on the living room floor crying, telling g-d he was f'kd up.
Getting up, I could still feel the joy connection in my heart and body. I slipped my awareness into it and started again saying 'thank you thank you thank you, I love you, love you, love you'. It's the words that are in the vibration. It so different, feeling the total rush/joy/ecstasy wave, while feeling sadness. I guess it really demonstrates Multiple inputs. The direct joy/happiness/rush/ecstasy input and the the what? It feels like the voice of the inner child. The child and the personality that grieves that her mother is ill, that her mother may be moving on. It's like Caroline Myss's Archetypes, the communications she says is forming in the 8th chakra.
Getting up, I could still feel the joy connection in my heart and body. I slipped my awareness into it and started again saying 'thank you thank you thank you, I love you, love you, love you'. It's the words that are in the vibration. It so different, feeling the total rush/joy/ecstasy wave, while feeling sadness. I guess it really demonstrates Multiple inputs. The direct joy/happiness/rush/ecstasy input and the the what? It feels like the voice of the inner child. The child and the personality that grieves that her mother is ill, that her mother may be moving on. It's like Caroline Myss's Archetypes, the communications she says is forming in the 8th chakra.
