Friday, July 23, 2004
Kitten nirvana ;)
I'm so so so blissed. Keep finding myself perfectly still, feeling the bliss of the internal body sensations. It's like tickle, giggle, joyful bubbles of ecstasy. It's so incredibly good, that it's hard to break away to move. I'm so grateful, this is fully body over the top ecstasy. There's a party in my cellular structure. ;)
Little Bit
Got a little boy kitten yesterday as a companion for my 5 year old female cat Spring. Even though the felines are still in the hissing stage, there is so much love and joy present that I'm just swimming in it.
Got a Koi fish for my patio container pond today. That's something that I've wanted for years. Though I've had the pond for a few months now, I had been blocking myself on the Koi when I found that they keep growing regardless on their containment size. Since they live to be like 126 years old, I found it unreasonable to get a Koi without being able to provide for it's growth needs. However, when I took my fear and had confronted it with reality the fear went poof! (Told the fish guy my concern, he said if it got too big for me, they would take it back.)
Since mom's passing, it feels like she has added herself to my light team. Suddenly I'm increasing my personal hygiene, my clothing, my hair, my accessories, and I've moved into the world of doing.
Before mom passed I was into calculating, but not moving forward until certain presets were met. I picked out my home theater system and future mattress only to buy them 2 years after selecting them. I would also go to stores or the mall only to browse, seeing what was available, planning stuff, but not purchasing.
After mom's passing I'm into getting things accomplished. I've moved out of the planning into the plan executing stage. Mom was/is very much a doer. While she was on the earth, she got a ton of stuff done on a daily basis. An amazingly HUGE amount done each day. Compared to her I was a slug.
Now there's a HUGE shift in who I am.
Packing for my most recent trip back to Wisconsin, I got a little bit done each day instead of slamming it all down on the last day. It felt really accomplished. :)
Also I was considering getting some plants, came back from Wisconsin, found myself buying the plants, getting the soil, pots, and getting them potted that night. (Previously I had bought 6 packs of plants only to leave them for a couple of months in their 6 packs... Something about ganking on their roots felt icky.) This time while planting the plants, I was trying to keep neat with the soil and the thought appeared, 'Just get your hands in the dirt and play, that's half the fun!' Ah.. ok.. I did, and it was! :)
There's tons more on a daily basis that show me mom is helping me, supporting me.
Ok, time to put the finishing touches on getting ready for Shabbos.
Shabbat Shalom!
Ciao!
Peace out!
Love to all!
Little Bit
Got a little boy kitten yesterday as a companion for my 5 year old female cat Spring. Even though the felines are still in the hissing stage, there is so much love and joy present that I'm just swimming in it.
Got a Koi fish for my patio container pond today. That's something that I've wanted for years. Though I've had the pond for a few months now, I had been blocking myself on the Koi when I found that they keep growing regardless on their containment size. Since they live to be like 126 years old, I found it unreasonable to get a Koi without being able to provide for it's growth needs. However, when I took my fear and had confronted it with reality the fear went poof! (Told the fish guy my concern, he said if it got too big for me, they would take it back.)
Since mom's passing, it feels like she has added herself to my light team. Suddenly I'm increasing my personal hygiene, my clothing, my hair, my accessories, and I've moved into the world of doing.
Before mom passed I was into calculating, but not moving forward until certain presets were met. I picked out my home theater system and future mattress only to buy them 2 years after selecting them. I would also go to stores or the mall only to browse, seeing what was available, planning stuff, but not purchasing.
After mom's passing I'm into getting things accomplished. I've moved out of the planning into the plan executing stage. Mom was/is very much a doer. While she was on the earth, she got a ton of stuff done on a daily basis. An amazingly HUGE amount done each day. Compared to her I was a slug.
Now there's a HUGE shift in who I am.
Packing for my most recent trip back to Wisconsin, I got a little bit done each day instead of slamming it all down on the last day. It felt really accomplished. :)
Also I was considering getting some plants, came back from Wisconsin, found myself buying the plants, getting the soil, pots, and getting them potted that night. (Previously I had bought 6 packs of plants only to leave them for a couple of months in their 6 packs... Something about ganking on their roots felt icky.) This time while planting the plants, I was trying to keep neat with the soil and the thought appeared, 'Just get your hands in the dirt and play, that's half the fun!' Ah.. ok.. I did, and it was! :)
There's tons more on a daily basis that show me mom is helping me, supporting me.
Ok, time to put the finishing touches on getting ready for Shabbos.
Shabbat Shalom!
Ciao!
Peace out!
Love to all!
