Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Divine Plan - Role Models
Things hit me like epiphanies. Wham!
I get so amazed. I'll be running something over and over in my mind trying to get a handle on it and then one day suddenly it seems so obvious, I wonder how could I not have seen the answer before?
I've been wondering about finances, rent over due for last month, (I have 3 months of invoices to get out), thinking about Ekhart Tolle letting everything go, living for a couple of years on a park bench. Then the thought hits me. The Divine's plan for me isn't to be destitute. Things are building for me to have guest, to do the festivals and Shabbos in beauty and be able to welcome others to my table. That requires capital!
The Divine Plan... It's about watching, deciphering, putting together the pieces of the puzzle. I had a beautiful Sukkah this year. My neighbors were coming in sharing meals. I have beautiful new dishes, beautiful new linens, one of my neighbors gave me his gorgeous new grill (he just moved). My life is escalating, I'm opening my doors again after a long hiatus of solitude.
So, when I was weighing in on the question of finances, like 'do I just let it all go like Ekhart did?' The reply comes finally, "What am I an idiot?" "I'm not some guy on a park bench. Just what would that be serving? " I'm a daughter of Israel. I have a beautiful apartment. I'm able bodied, have my own technology company of 12 years, have clients and programmers relying on me and I'm contemplating being destitute???? Where does this crap even come from? I'm serving the Divine and the Divine plan while I'm working, meditating, skiing, flying (flying to Seattle next week *smile*).
These roles and role models that I was choosing. It's like watching old past life programming. The old Buddhist monk thing. The 'attach yourself to a master' program is what drove the 10 years with the guru. The 'let it all the material world go' (hey, Ekhart did), is what was causing the watching the money dwindle.
New program, the divine plan for me has me having plenty of money. Now, the interesting thing is after switching thinking from homeless to inviting guest, I quickly found the papers with the information needed to write an invoice tonight for a quick paying client that will provide for my rent and more.
Thanks Goddess!
Doing work, doing invoices, teaching, it's all the same.
My goal is to have the Goddess before me always.
I get so amazed. I'll be running something over and over in my mind trying to get a handle on it and then one day suddenly it seems so obvious, I wonder how could I not have seen the answer before?
I've been wondering about finances, rent over due for last month, (I have 3 months of invoices to get out), thinking about Ekhart Tolle letting everything go, living for a couple of years on a park bench. Then the thought hits me. The Divine's plan for me isn't to be destitute. Things are building for me to have guest, to do the festivals and Shabbos in beauty and be able to welcome others to my table. That requires capital!
The Divine Plan... It's about watching, deciphering, putting together the pieces of the puzzle. I had a beautiful Sukkah this year. My neighbors were coming in sharing meals. I have beautiful new dishes, beautiful new linens, one of my neighbors gave me his gorgeous new grill (he just moved). My life is escalating, I'm opening my doors again after a long hiatus of solitude.
So, when I was weighing in on the question of finances, like 'do I just let it all go like Ekhart did?' The reply comes finally, "What am I an idiot?" "I'm not some guy on a park bench. Just what would that be serving? " I'm a daughter of Israel. I have a beautiful apartment. I'm able bodied, have my own technology company of 12 years, have clients and programmers relying on me and I'm contemplating being destitute???? Where does this crap even come from? I'm serving the Divine and the Divine plan while I'm working, meditating, skiing, flying (flying to Seattle next week *smile*).
These roles and role models that I was choosing. It's like watching old past life programming. The old Buddhist monk thing. The 'attach yourself to a master' program is what drove the 10 years with the guru. The 'let it all the material world go' (hey, Ekhart did), is what was causing the watching the money dwindle.
New program, the divine plan for me has me having plenty of money. Now, the interesting thing is after switching thinking from homeless to inviting guest, I quickly found the papers with the information needed to write an invoice tonight for a quick paying client that will provide for my rent and more.
Thanks Goddess!
Doing work, doing invoices, teaching, it's all the same.
My goal is to have the Goddess before me always.
