Thursday, April 14, 2005
End Pain = Enter Bliss
As a kid I use to think of this as a flaw.
My brother would work and work at provoking or hurting me until I finally reacted and then retreated into my locked bedroom. From the bedroom I'd plan to not play with him and to stay angry until... hmm... he apologized or the next day, whatever, some future tense.
Then as soon as the pain stopped... like my shoulder stopped throbbing, or I was relaxed enjoying my book, I would stop being mad and when my brother would call out to me to play, out I would come all smiling. I would think, this sucks, I can never stay mad, like staying mad was the goal, because that was the price my brother was suppose to pay for being mean to me, was to have me be mad at him.
hmm... ok, so it was a weird goal and one that I could never achieve, BECAUSE as SOON as the PAIN STOPS, I GO BACK TO HAPPY.
My mother, of Blessed Memory, would say that I was naturally happy. My father last October told me that I was always happy, always smiling.
Here's the deal. I'm pretty much winging life. I observe myself, check out what current theory's are, experience what others have to give, and then proceed forward using my inner guidance and analysis of what I have learned.
So, it came to me, when I'm in pain, I need to take care of it as fast as possible, figuring that once I deal with stuff the pain will subside and the bliss will return.
hmm... interesting, it seems to work, that seems to be a key for me.
My brother would work and work at provoking or hurting me until I finally reacted and then retreated into my locked bedroom. From the bedroom I'd plan to not play with him and to stay angry until... hmm... he apologized or the next day, whatever, some future tense.
Then as soon as the pain stopped... like my shoulder stopped throbbing, or I was relaxed enjoying my book, I would stop being mad and when my brother would call out to me to play, out I would come all smiling. I would think, this sucks, I can never stay mad, like staying mad was the goal, because that was the price my brother was suppose to pay for being mean to me, was to have me be mad at him.
hmm... ok, so it was a weird goal and one that I could never achieve, BECAUSE as SOON as the PAIN STOPS, I GO BACK TO HAPPY.
My mother, of Blessed Memory, would say that I was naturally happy. My father last October told me that I was always happy, always smiling.
Here's the deal. I'm pretty much winging life. I observe myself, check out what current theory's are, experience what others have to give, and then proceed forward using my inner guidance and analysis of what I have learned.
So, it came to me, when I'm in pain, I need to take care of it as fast as possible, figuring that once I deal with stuff the pain will subside and the bliss will return.
hmm... interesting, it seems to work, that seems to be a key for me.
