Monday, June 27, 2005
What the rock said about avoiding conflict
Ok, more on the rock before I forget.
So, I'm asking the rock to clear me of the fear and pain of writing invoices.
The rock has me look for the originating thought from where the fear attached itself.
When I was little growing up my mother and father would fight verbally and physically. I would watch my mother confront my father on his fooling around with other women. Their voices would escalate, then there would be the sounds of the blows and the shrieking, slamming doors, running through the house, either mother fleeing or father departing. Mother bleeding, but not crying. (I did the crying alone in my room.)
I would ask mom not to provoke him, just leave it be. They were like gasoline and matches drawn together and explosive.
I drew the conclusion that conflict with anything more powerful than oneself should be avoided.
The rock sympathized and said, what has that conclusion created?
Me, I fear writing the invoices because I need the money from the clients and I do not want to create conflict. They are the 'more powerful' entity.
The rock, can you see how the fear of conflict has grown into something debilitating?
Me, yes.
The rock, the clients are not 'more powerful', the Source is providing for all of your needs, the clients are only conduits for Source to provide to you. The clients themselves are not the source.
Here's the what if.
Thought in my head. What if all I need to do is write the invoices and the Divine will have them paid. What if I am more powerful than I am feeling? What if I have been following the path of lies? How about I just appear and let the Divine do the rest?
Well, *cough* it's 3:33 PM and I have not started writing the invoices yet, so ah, guess, well you know, time to sign off. ;)
So, I'm asking the rock to clear me of the fear and pain of writing invoices.
The rock has me look for the originating thought from where the fear attached itself.
When I was little growing up my mother and father would fight verbally and physically. I would watch my mother confront my father on his fooling around with other women. Their voices would escalate, then there would be the sounds of the blows and the shrieking, slamming doors, running through the house, either mother fleeing or father departing. Mother bleeding, but not crying. (I did the crying alone in my room.)
I would ask mom not to provoke him, just leave it be. They were like gasoline and matches drawn together and explosive.
I drew the conclusion that conflict with anything more powerful than oneself should be avoided.
The rock sympathized and said, what has that conclusion created?
Me, I fear writing the invoices because I need the money from the clients and I do not want to create conflict. They are the 'more powerful' entity.
The rock, can you see how the fear of conflict has grown into something debilitating?
Me, yes.
The rock, the clients are not 'more powerful', the Source is providing for all of your needs, the clients are only conduits for Source to provide to you. The clients themselves are not the source.
Here's the what if.
Thought in my head. What if all I need to do is write the invoices and the Divine will have them paid. What if I am more powerful than I am feeling? What if I have been following the path of lies? How about I just appear and let the Divine do the rest?
Well, *cough* it's 3:33 PM and I have not started writing the invoices yet, so ah, guess, well you know, time to sign off. ;)
