Monday, July 25, 2005
It all changes again
So I come back to Flagstaff with a $50 cash loan from one of my step brothers and $20 'get yourself a lunch at the airport' from my step dad. Felt great to have some food money. Also was wonderful to be back at my childhood home. It's one of the first homes on the lake, built up into a hill, surrounded by 14 acres of woods, has a pool next to the barn, hehe. Mom was a fashion designer and later an interior designer with her own interior design business for over 25 years. The house is gorgeous and so are the grounds. It was great to relax and play and feel loved.
On Monday I went 'ok, time to change, I am no longer interested in micro managing little to no money to pay bills with'. Personally I'm sick of it. I mean, it is a skill, living on the edge, just squeaking by, but I already learned that skill, I already learned living on empty, the lessons were boring me, not serving me and it was time to move on!
I've been turning it all over to God to take care of it, but this time it was different, I'm just freaking sick of it.
Monday was a travel day, Tuesday was a relaxed play day, Wednesday coming home from buying milk, looking at the mountain wow, it's so so so beautiful, so got to drive up and say hi to all the beings in my little spot up there. Later that night the thought kept coming into my mind... "Just write the outline for the retainer." It was repeating over and over... so ok, I do and then some points start to flow, end up putting a couple of hours in and going to bed. Wake up to an email, I've been asked to come to the client's office to meet with the person who needs to review the retainer proposal, oh ya, and by the way, she is leaving tomorrow for vacation so could you be here this morning. Hm.. So I have the retainer ready for her review and in her hands... that 'just write the outline for the retainer' that was persistent in my mind defiantly had the knowledge that I was using the retainer the next day.
It is so apparent that I'm just a walking vessel. The Divine is making everything happen around me. It feels like I have this crew of light beings getting everything done. End up doing some mission impossible stuff for her and for her father the CEO while he's in Turkey.
Before when I was scared to bill for the mobile services support I was giving them, they called me and asked me to set up a few more phones for them, to do so I did a contract review and suddenly a $1,550 credit came together. The client went Wow. I looked around ... ok light beings... ok.. how did you pull off that?
Now that I'm sick of the having nothing drama and I'm pretty satisfied that I do not want to move in with my step dad in my mom's home, she passed away and I'm a third owner, well now that I'm done with that the money is coming in, in an unexpected way.. cause in the world of form it's like, 'how did you pull that off?' and in an expected way cause in the world before form it's like, 'thank you thank you thank you for taking care of us'.
One of the things I did was to pay Dr. L's bill. I'm thinking I've been carrying my stress in my neck and my neck and arm are doing pain. Plus my foot is still hurting. Well, this is the way I figured it. My body is the Divine's body, so instead of me choosing to let it stay in pain while I wait for more money to come in. I use the money that I have now to clear up my bill with Dr. L and go see him again to get rid of whatever it is that is messing up. It's the Divine's body, not mine and I need to look after it. :)
On Monday I went 'ok, time to change, I am no longer interested in micro managing little to no money to pay bills with'. Personally I'm sick of it. I mean, it is a skill, living on the edge, just squeaking by, but I already learned that skill, I already learned living on empty, the lessons were boring me, not serving me and it was time to move on!
I've been turning it all over to God to take care of it, but this time it was different, I'm just freaking sick of it.
Monday was a travel day, Tuesday was a relaxed play day, Wednesday coming home from buying milk, looking at the mountain wow, it's so so so beautiful, so got to drive up and say hi to all the beings in my little spot up there. Later that night the thought kept coming into my mind... "Just write the outline for the retainer." It was repeating over and over... so ok, I do and then some points start to flow, end up putting a couple of hours in and going to bed. Wake up to an email, I've been asked to come to the client's office to meet with the person who needs to review the retainer proposal, oh ya, and by the way, she is leaving tomorrow for vacation so could you be here this morning. Hm.. So I have the retainer ready for her review and in her hands... that 'just write the outline for the retainer' that was persistent in my mind defiantly had the knowledge that I was using the retainer the next day.
It is so apparent that I'm just a walking vessel. The Divine is making everything happen around me. It feels like I have this crew of light beings getting everything done. End up doing some mission impossible stuff for her and for her father the CEO while he's in Turkey.
Before when I was scared to bill for the mobile services support I was giving them, they called me and asked me to set up a few more phones for them, to do so I did a contract review and suddenly a $1,550 credit came together. The client went Wow. I looked around ... ok light beings... ok.. how did you pull off that?
Now that I'm sick of the having nothing drama and I'm pretty satisfied that I do not want to move in with my step dad in my mom's home, she passed away and I'm a third owner, well now that I'm done with that the money is coming in, in an unexpected way.. cause in the world of form it's like, 'how did you pull that off?' and in an expected way cause in the world before form it's like, 'thank you thank you thank you for taking care of us'.
One of the things I did was to pay Dr. L's bill. I'm thinking I've been carrying my stress in my neck and my neck and arm are doing pain. Plus my foot is still hurting. Well, this is the way I figured it. My body is the Divine's body, so instead of me choosing to let it stay in pain while I wait for more money to come in. I use the money that I have now to clear up my bill with Dr. L and go see him again to get rid of whatever it is that is messing up. It's the Divine's body, not mine and I need to look after it. :)
