Monday, September 12, 2005
I hate it, ... ok.. ah.. Thanks
Here's the thing. I know that everything is good. Even when I hate something, I see the good. I feel like the slow kid in some kind of cosmic school. Something looks sucky and I yell 'how could you!' then shortly after I see the really wonderful thing that happened because of the 'sucky' thing... and all I can say is.. ah sorry for making such a fuss.. I know that You are taking care of me and that nothing can happen to me except through You... I so so apologize for forgetting this so quickly.
Its like there are battling matrix's in my mind. There is one matrix which is a world view where few things are connected.. that one says... "you car will not start, now you have to walk a mile or so.. and you are late... and they will be pissed that you are late. "
The other matrix.. which is the one that is actually perfectly accurate.. well you know what.. that one is usually very quiet.. but anyway what it says is, "grab your water bottle, get walking, it's perfect."
So here's what happened...
Week before last I hear on Wednesday, 'This day is for you, we are caring for you, you need to receive." I think I'm driving over to a client's office, she changes the appointment and my afternoon is open. hmm.... "This day is about caring for me?" "YES".
Ok... I call Dr. L and see if I can get an appointment today. Yes.
Take a bath.. bugger.. I'm going to take longer than I said. (It's a 75 minute drive.)
"It's OK"
Driving.. wow.. it's all so beautiful. Get to Dr. L's. Find out he left with his wife 20 minutes ago... right when I was scheduled to arrive.. hmmm... Is this day still about caring for me? "YES".
Wait a half hour, read a great article on nutrition for depression, note to self, more vitamin's , more B, more Omega-3. I had decide I would wait exactly one half hour... this is in Dr. L's home and an elderly woman in a sun dress is waiting in the living room with me, think she is his mother-in-law, I don't want to unduly bother her. So away I go... hmm.. stop at the Wal-Mart Super Store for cream. I go in, feel compelled to turn to the right and walk smack dab into Dr. L.
Nice.
He tells me to do my shopping and then come over.
Do.
Get to car, it will not start. Yell at the Divine that it's not OK with me. (I'm an idiot.. it was perfect.)
So... after striding fast for nearly a half hour, lots of oxygen, lots of vital circulation. Now I see him... yah, he had no problem with the time I arrive. Well, now that I'm totally pumped, he is able to do fantastic body work on me. The pain in my left foot from the level 3 sprain last October is completely taken care of. 90% of the pain in the left arm is gone. Now here is the huge thing. He freed up my shoulder blades. My torso is totally liberated. To me it feels like my wings are unfurled. My body moves differently, I sit upright... very upright. My head is connected differently. My thoughts are faster and brighter.
Its like there are battling matrix's in my mind. There is one matrix which is a world view where few things are connected.. that one says... "you car will not start, now you have to walk a mile or so.. and you are late... and they will be pissed that you are late. "
The other matrix.. which is the one that is actually perfectly accurate.. well you know what.. that one is usually very quiet.. but anyway what it says is, "grab your water bottle, get walking, it's perfect."
So here's what happened...
Week before last I hear on Wednesday, 'This day is for you, we are caring for you, you need to receive." I think I'm driving over to a client's office, she changes the appointment and my afternoon is open. hmm.... "This day is about caring for me?" "YES".
Ok... I call Dr. L and see if I can get an appointment today. Yes.
Take a bath.. bugger.. I'm going to take longer than I said. (It's a 75 minute drive.)
"It's OK"
Driving.. wow.. it's all so beautiful. Get to Dr. L's. Find out he left with his wife 20 minutes ago... right when I was scheduled to arrive.. hmmm... Is this day still about caring for me? "YES".
Wait a half hour, read a great article on nutrition for depression, note to self, more vitamin's , more B, more Omega-3. I had decide I would wait exactly one half hour... this is in Dr. L's home and an elderly woman in a sun dress is waiting in the living room with me, think she is his mother-in-law, I don't want to unduly bother her. So away I go... hmm.. stop at the Wal-Mart Super Store for cream. I go in, feel compelled to turn to the right and walk smack dab into Dr. L.
Nice.
He tells me to do my shopping and then come over.
Do.
Get to car, it will not start. Yell at the Divine that it's not OK with me. (I'm an idiot.. it was perfect.)
So... after striding fast for nearly a half hour, lots of oxygen, lots of vital circulation. Now I see him... yah, he had no problem with the time I arrive. Well, now that I'm totally pumped, he is able to do fantastic body work on me. The pain in my left foot from the level 3 sprain last October is completely taken care of. 90% of the pain in the left arm is gone. Now here is the huge thing. He freed up my shoulder blades. My torso is totally liberated. To me it feels like my wings are unfurled. My body moves differently, I sit upright... very upright. My head is connected differently. My thoughts are faster and brighter.
