Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Camoflauge
I smile constantly.
While I am focused on helping/interfacing with someone I try to lower my ecstasy to better match them for communication. As soon as there's a drop in the communication the smile just burst out again and if I'm not careful I'm gazing at the person with full on love and rapture. (I see how beautiful they are and the love rushes through me to them. I start to swoon.) Suddenly I notice and try to pull everything back to a casual professional level.
This is from last Thursday:
Me - This server is riddled with Trojans and worms. For some reason... there are 11 ip addresses assigned to it.
Client - What causes it?
Me - Could be some virtual servers set up camp.
Me - My mind floats for a second, smile burst forth on my face.
Client - Looking at screen.
Me - Glancing at client, grinning, my heat suddenly swells with love for him. Seeing him as so beautiful, so good, so filled with light.
Client - His gaze comes back up as he begins to speak.
Me - !Alert! Refresh your gaze Sandy and look professional. Smile once again quieted.
The smile really is there non stop, constant. My jaw use to ache some from it. The less attention I put in keeping the smile down the larger it grows.
Here's the thing. There is a BLASTING RUSH of nearly constant effervescent, excited, HUGE, bliss fountain ripping through my chest, flooding me in constant joy. There's nothing small about the sensation.
I think anyone would be grinning under the same circumstances.
I smile and smile and smile. It's like the heart and the face are connected and having a heart flowing with constant ecstatic bliss and happiness shows up on my face.
In a world where people are not walking around in ecstasy I stand out.
So my camouflage is to try to hide the smile and put on sunglasses to hide the eyes.
Now, on the level of aura fields. I've had a few people tell me last year the same thing. My aura was pure white with gold trim.
Well, seems it's change again. My friend told me it's hard to look at me, which is why she turns her head now again while speaking with me. Her perception of my aura is a fountain of sparkles. All sparkles, not a color, hard to look at, fountain of sparkles, which she has never seen before.
Well, that blows the holding back the smile and wearing shades. Then again, how many people see auras?
While I am focused on helping/interfacing with someone I try to lower my ecstasy to better match them for communication. As soon as there's a drop in the communication the smile just burst out again and if I'm not careful I'm gazing at the person with full on love and rapture. (I see how beautiful they are and the love rushes through me to them. I start to swoon.) Suddenly I notice and try to pull everything back to a casual professional level.
This is from last Thursday:
Me - This server is riddled with Trojans and worms. For some reason... there are 11 ip addresses assigned to it.
Client - What causes it?
Me - Could be some virtual servers set up camp.
Me - My mind floats for a second, smile burst forth on my face.
Client - Looking at screen.
Me - Glancing at client, grinning, my heat suddenly swells with love for him. Seeing him as so beautiful, so good, so filled with light.
Client - His gaze comes back up as he begins to speak.
Me - !Alert! Refresh your gaze Sandy and look professional. Smile once again quieted.
The smile really is there non stop, constant. My jaw use to ache some from it. The less attention I put in keeping the smile down the larger it grows.
Here's the thing. There is a BLASTING RUSH of nearly constant effervescent, excited, HUGE, bliss fountain ripping through my chest, flooding me in constant joy. There's nothing small about the sensation.
I think anyone would be grinning under the same circumstances.
I smile and smile and smile. It's like the heart and the face are connected and having a heart flowing with constant ecstatic bliss and happiness shows up on my face.
In a world where people are not walking around in ecstasy I stand out.
So my camouflage is to try to hide the smile and put on sunglasses to hide the eyes.
Now, on the level of aura fields. I've had a few people tell me last year the same thing. My aura was pure white with gold trim.
Well, seems it's change again. My friend told me it's hard to look at me, which is why she turns her head now again while speaking with me. Her perception of my aura is a fountain of sparkles. All sparkles, not a color, hard to look at, fountain of sparkles, which she has never seen before.
Well, that blows the holding back the smile and wearing shades. Then again, how many people see auras?
