Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Honor thy Father and Mother
Dad called. Told me daughters are not to bring up the flaws of their fathers in their father's golden years. Amazing that he should say that. I didn't even know what he was relating his comment to. A month back, while dad was saying once again his biggest mistake was allowing my mother to have the divorce, I made a comment I never before made. Which was, "That wasn't the biggest mistake, perhaps, the behavior that led up to the divorce was."
He said he knew that, that was the mistake and I didn't need to bring it up. My response was I never heard him ever say that. His reply was, it was what he said over and over to himself.
It's this quandary, of relating my childhood, vs keeping my parent's feelings aloft, that has added to me not relating my story for the last 5 years on the site.
Honoring one's father and mother are commandments. These are like pillars in the planes of light. Goals to run towards, the very running pulling one out of the muck of error thought and delusion.
He said he knew that, that was the mistake and I didn't need to bring it up. My response was I never heard him ever say that. His reply was, it was what he said over and over to himself.
It's this quandary, of relating my childhood, vs keeping my parent's feelings aloft, that has added to me not relating my story for the last 5 years on the site.
Honoring one's father and mother are commandments. These are like pillars in the planes of light. Goals to run towards, the very running pulling one out of the muck of error thought and delusion.
Heaven gets better and better - vid
Working on the 'Today' concept in a vid format. Playing with 3 hours of sleep since Sunday... working on getting a project done. Mind tossed up a concept - viewing life and restricting life with a 'it can be this good, but not more', block. Listened to a Torah online from Chabad where Rabbi mentioned study, learning, practice, oneness gets deeper and deeper, since Hashem is Infinite it all increases, (from strength to strength).
When Mind was tossing up a road block that lesson jumped in with a flash that defeated the 'it can be this good, but that's it' thought with the 'it goes deeper and deeper since Hashem is Infinite'. The 'ah' thought came, 'the realization of Heaven gets better and better, beyond any current imagining.'
When Mind was tossing up a road block that lesson jumped in with a flash that defeated the 'it can be this good, but that's it' thought with the 'it goes deeper and deeper since Hashem is Infinite'. The 'ah' thought came, 'the realization of Heaven gets better and better, beyond any current imagining.'
Monday, April 28, 2008
1st vid - Happy/Sad
Chabad of Flagstaff - Calendar of Events - Jewish Calendar
Chabad of Flagstaff - Calendar of Events - Jewish Calendar:
"Second Crusade Mourned by Cologne Jews (1147)
The Jewish community of Cologne, Germany, designated the 23rd of Nissan as a day of fasting and mourning to commemorate the Jews of Cologne massacred in 1147 during the Second Crusade."
"Second Crusade Mourned by Cologne Jews (1147)
The Jewish community of Cologne, Germany, designated the 23rd of Nissan as a day of fasting and mourning to commemorate the Jews of Cologne massacred in 1147 during the Second Crusade."
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Camoflauge
I smile constantly.
While I am focused on helping/interfacing with someone I try to lower my ecstasy to better match them for communication. As soon as there's a drop in the communication the smile just burst out again and if I'm not careful I'm gazing at the person with full on love and rapture. (I see how beautiful they are and the love rushes through me to them. I start to swoon.) Suddenly I notice and try to pull everything back to a casual professional level.
This is from last Thursday:
Me - This server is riddled with Trojans and worms. For some reason... there are 11 ip addresses assigned to it.
Client - What causes it?
Me - Could be some virtual servers set up camp.
Me - My mind floats for a second, smile burst forth on my face.
Client - Looking at screen.
Me - Glancing at client, grinning, my heat suddenly swells with love for him. Seeing him as so beautiful, so good, so filled with light.
Client - His gaze comes back up as he begins to speak.
Me - !Alert! Refresh your gaze Sandy and look professional. Smile once again quieted.
The smile really is there non stop, constant. My jaw use to ache some from it. The less attention I put in keeping the smile down the larger it grows.
Here's the thing. There is a BLASTING RUSH of nearly constant effervescent, excited, HUGE, bliss fountain ripping through my chest, flooding me in constant joy. There's nothing small about the sensation.
I think anyone would be grinning under the same circumstances.
I smile and smile and smile. It's like the heart and the face are connected and having a heart flowing with constant ecstatic bliss and happiness shows up on my face.
In a world where people are not walking around in ecstasy I stand out.
So my camouflage is to try to hide the smile and put on sunglasses to hide the eyes.
Now, on the level of aura fields. I've had a few people tell me last year the same thing. My aura was pure white with gold trim.
Well, seems it's change again. My friend told me it's hard to look at me, which is why she turns her head now again while speaking with me. Her perception of my aura is a fountain of sparkles. All sparkles, not a color, hard to look at, fountain of sparkles, which she has never seen before.
Well, that blows the holding back the smile and wearing shades. Then again, how many people see auras?
While I am focused on helping/interfacing with someone I try to lower my ecstasy to better match them for communication. As soon as there's a drop in the communication the smile just burst out again and if I'm not careful I'm gazing at the person with full on love and rapture. (I see how beautiful they are and the love rushes through me to them. I start to swoon.) Suddenly I notice and try to pull everything back to a casual professional level.
This is from last Thursday:
Me - This server is riddled with Trojans and worms. For some reason... there are 11 ip addresses assigned to it.
Client - What causes it?
Me - Could be some virtual servers set up camp.
Me - My mind floats for a second, smile burst forth on my face.
Client - Looking at screen.
Me - Glancing at client, grinning, my heat suddenly swells with love for him. Seeing him as so beautiful, so good, so filled with light.
Client - His gaze comes back up as he begins to speak.
Me - !Alert! Refresh your gaze Sandy and look professional. Smile once again quieted.
The smile really is there non stop, constant. My jaw use to ache some from it. The less attention I put in keeping the smile down the larger it grows.
Here's the thing. There is a BLASTING RUSH of nearly constant effervescent, excited, HUGE, bliss fountain ripping through my chest, flooding me in constant joy. There's nothing small about the sensation.
I think anyone would be grinning under the same circumstances.
I smile and smile and smile. It's like the heart and the face are connected and having a heart flowing with constant ecstatic bliss and happiness shows up on my face.
In a world where people are not walking around in ecstasy I stand out.
So my camouflage is to try to hide the smile and put on sunglasses to hide the eyes.
Now, on the level of aura fields. I've had a few people tell me last year the same thing. My aura was pure white with gold trim.
Well, seems it's change again. My friend told me it's hard to look at me, which is why she turns her head now again while speaking with me. Her perception of my aura is a fountain of sparkles. All sparkles, not a color, hard to look at, fountain of sparkles, which she has never seen before.
Well, that blows the holding back the smile and wearing shades. Then again, how many people see auras?
Thank you Imagine Me & You people
Big thanks to Lena Headey, Piper Perabo, Ol Parker, Hashem, and all involved in the making and distribution of the film Imagine Me & You.
So, here's how things work for me. All of my experiences and form are being constantly created by Hashem. In creating I participate. My greatest participation is in knowing it's all G-d and to be in gratitude, awareness, understanding, and bliss.
All of 'how' is by G-d. By Hashem, by my Mother.
So... this movie appears and I see two love beings loving. They are beautiful, they communicate cleanly, they are kind, they represent the type of people in my world, they are two women in a mainstream production.
This is a beautiful, beautiful, gift from Hashem.
I'm so grateful.
And
I'm so grateful that these actors would play the parts, because they are love beings and they are beautiful and it's fabulous. Thank you Piper Perabo and Lena Headey.
Piper I loved when I saw her in Coyote Ugly, what a beautiful heart, I watch shows because she is in them.
Then, Lena Headey of Terminator as the other lead?
It's like... it's like a fairy tale. It's so good to be alive.
OK, in my world, EVERYTHING is G-d. The entire world of form is part of G-d. I live in a very small intimate world. There is my small finite consciousness connected to the infinite consciousness. And yes, both sides of that connection are still G-d. I love everyone, it's my divine right to love everyone. Everyone is all G-d expressing Herself as them.
So, in my world, my Mother, the G-dess made this movie and filled it with goodness - and I'm watching it - and I'm in awe. It's so incredible.
I've found that it's not enough to just thank Hashem, or in my speak, Mother. That the beings, the individualization's of Hashem, are to also be thanked. For instance, while going up a ski lift, looking at the trees I'll say, "Mother, You are so beautiful." Then I'll remember I am also in the presence of trees and I'll call out to them. "You are all so beautiful. You are all Loved!"
Now, none of that may have made sense. My chassidic rabbi calls me the Living Kabbalah and that my speaking is like listening to the Kabbalah. I understand there is a higher form of speech called Essence, which is expressed in Chassidus. However, I'm still limited to sounding cryptic. My mind is fairly quiet, with flashes of insight, or directions, not a whole lot of verbal world going on. Mostly my mind is filled with light, awe, a sense of grander before which I'm very small.
If I were speaking to you directly seeing you before me I could possible be clearer.
In the future I may be able to speak from the level of Essence. Or I may not. It's a gift. We will see if I am given that gift.
So, I apologize if it is hard to understand me, as even those versed in learning, chassidus, and kabbalah have a hard time understanding me.
However if you are just like me, I think you'll get it. :)
So, once again thank you to the makers, distributors and the actors of Imagine Me and You. I purchased the DVD partly as a way of saying thanks, that they would benefit financially from the gift they created.
Just as an aside to the Perabo - Headey fans suggesting the "Chemistry" between them is a love waiting to be a love affair. To me, it's not that, it's total and complete joyful love between love beings displayed. People are all throttling back on their love. LOVE IT UP PEOPLE, it's GOOD!
So, here's how things work for me. All of my experiences and form are being constantly created by Hashem. In creating I participate. My greatest participation is in knowing it's all G-d and to be in gratitude, awareness, understanding, and bliss.
All of 'how' is by G-d. By Hashem, by my Mother.
So... this movie appears and I see two love beings loving. They are beautiful, they communicate cleanly, they are kind, they represent the type of people in my world, they are two women in a mainstream production.
This is a beautiful, beautiful, gift from Hashem.
I'm so grateful.
And
I'm so grateful that these actors would play the parts, because they are love beings and they are beautiful and it's fabulous. Thank you Piper Perabo and Lena Headey.
Piper I loved when I saw her in Coyote Ugly, what a beautiful heart, I watch shows because she is in them.
Then, Lena Headey of Terminator as the other lead?
It's like... it's like a fairy tale. It's so good to be alive.
OK, in my world, EVERYTHING is G-d. The entire world of form is part of G-d. I live in a very small intimate world. There is my small finite consciousness connected to the infinite consciousness. And yes, both sides of that connection are still G-d. I love everyone, it's my divine right to love everyone. Everyone is all G-d expressing Herself as them.
So, in my world, my Mother, the G-dess made this movie and filled it with goodness - and I'm watching it - and I'm in awe. It's so incredible.
I've found that it's not enough to just thank Hashem, or in my speak, Mother. That the beings, the individualization's of Hashem, are to also be thanked. For instance, while going up a ski lift, looking at the trees I'll say, "Mother, You are so beautiful." Then I'll remember I am also in the presence of trees and I'll call out to them. "You are all so beautiful. You are all Loved!"
Now, none of that may have made sense. My chassidic rabbi calls me the Living Kabbalah and that my speaking is like listening to the Kabbalah. I understand there is a higher form of speech called Essence, which is expressed in Chassidus. However, I'm still limited to sounding cryptic. My mind is fairly quiet, with flashes of insight, or directions, not a whole lot of verbal world going on. Mostly my mind is filled with light, awe, a sense of grander before which I'm very small.
If I were speaking to you directly seeing you before me I could possible be clearer.
In the future I may be able to speak from the level of Essence. Or I may not. It's a gift. We will see if I am given that gift.
So, I apologize if it is hard to understand me, as even those versed in learning, chassidus, and kabbalah have a hard time understanding me.
However if you are just like me, I think you'll get it. :)
So, once again thank you to the makers, distributors and the actors of Imagine Me and You. I purchased the DVD partly as a way of saying thanks, that they would benefit financially from the gift they created.
Just as an aside to the Perabo - Headey fans suggesting the "Chemistry" between them is a love waiting to be a love affair. To me, it's not that, it's total and complete joyful love between love beings displayed. People are all throttling back on their love. LOVE IT UP PEOPLE, it's GOOD!
What if the whole world was like the ski slopes?
Everything is so beautiful, yet in the world there's this social agreement not to mention it.. or are people not aware of it?
On the slopes, yelling between total strangers, "what a
beautiful day" And the person yells back, "It's good to be alive!"
It's completely within social etiquette to be happy, in awe, grateful, blissed, excited, encouraging, kind, to converse back and forth with the person near you in the moment on the goodness of the moment, where we are, how freaking much fun we are having.
I'm like that all the time. On the slopes I can be me and it fits in.
Now back at the grocery store, I'm still blissing out, ecstatic, excited, joyous, in awe, grateful, I am always like that. Yet at the grocery store, it doesn't feel appropriate to say to the nearest person, "Isn't life amazing, this is so good!"
I smile all the time, when I'm trying to camouflage it's my one big tell. Years ago, when this first started, while at a grocery store, in the frozen food section walking down the isle, I glance up directly at the person coming towards me, this HUGE grin on my face. Eye contact, her face with both a startled look and a smile.
I didn't mean to startle her.
My eyes filled with love, joy, excitement, my face a huge grin. It looked to me like she had taken the look in my eyes, the grin on my face personally and her mind was scrambling to put together what the connection was with her.. did she know me? That kind of thing.
*sigh*
For years I kept my glance down while shopping. :)
Now when on the mountain skiing I can look at the boarder next me, same look, same grin... well OK, I have a helmet and goggles on, that probably tones it down some, yet I have the best time existing in paradise and having others join me there.
On the slopes, yelling between total strangers, "what a
beautiful day" And the person yells back, "It's good to be alive!"
It's completely within social etiquette to be happy, in awe, grateful, blissed, excited, encouraging, kind, to converse back and forth with the person near you in the moment on the goodness of the moment, where we are, how freaking much fun we are having.
I'm like that all the time. On the slopes I can be me and it fits in.
Now back at the grocery store, I'm still blissing out, ecstatic, excited, joyous, in awe, grateful, I am always like that. Yet at the grocery store, it doesn't feel appropriate to say to the nearest person, "Isn't life amazing, this is so good!"
I smile all the time, when I'm trying to camouflage it's my one big tell. Years ago, when this first started, while at a grocery store, in the frozen food section walking down the isle, I glance up directly at the person coming towards me, this HUGE grin on my face. Eye contact, her face with both a startled look and a smile.
I didn't mean to startle her.
My eyes filled with love, joy, excitement, my face a huge grin. It looked to me like she had taken the look in my eyes, the grin on my face personally and her mind was scrambling to put together what the connection was with her.. did she know me? That kind of thing.
*sigh*
For years I kept my glance down while shopping. :)
Now when on the mountain skiing I can look at the boarder next me, same look, same grin... well OK, I have a helmet and goggles on, that probably tones it down some, yet I have the best time existing in paradise and having others join me there.
This is so beautiful - Imagine Me & You
This is so amazing, fan sites and music video montages.
People take something that's touched them, that they love, they put the time in, creating with it, lingering in the vibe, the feeling wrapped around them, expressing themselves, small worlds - real worlds, gathered about collected souls.
It's pretty.
Imagine Me & You, lovely movie, today it's my favorite movie.
Click - Recorded on DVR
Click - Purchased from Amazon
Type, type, CLICK - search results from Goggle
List of pages of links, zooming the world in a click. Information, knowledge, discovery of the clusters of people loving, creating, living in the images.
Drill down.
Fan sites offering more discovery. Information, knowledge.
Fan site - links to Media, Bios,
!CAUTION! Lena Heady is married, which means, stay away, danger, beware, keep the mind clear, not a moment, a stray thought of desire/lust is allowed, it's a death trap, steer clear.
In Judaism it is permitted to break a law to save your life, with the exception of three things given in the example of "If your back is to the wall of a fire squad and you are asked to do one of these three things, you must choose death."
- Idolatry
- Murder (if they ask you to kill someone to spare your life)
- Adultery (if they ask you to sleep with a married person)
Now, you'd think that information would be shared a little more strongly. In a marriage, there is a trinity, the two people and G-d.
We are NOT ALLOWED to commit Adultery even if it means saving our life!
OK, well that info set off my "Danger, danger, Will Robbinson" inner dialog. And now, back to the fan site info. :)
Fan site links to YouTube
Inside YouTube ->a plethora of Movie music video's - love, it's all love, artist expressing themselves, revealing their souls in the scene selections, edits, music, text. They are telling their story.
Here's one of the ones I love.
From Chemistry - A Piper Perabo and Lena Heady Fansite
Song: Lifehouse - Somewhere in Between
Length: 4.12
Sophy's review:
I’m somewhere in between
What is real and just a dreamThis is the first video Rin made (for IMAY) and the first IMAY video I watched. The song fits perfectly with the Luce/Rachel relationship and the way certain lines in the song have been accented in this video and complemented with lines of dialogue is very effective. My favourite thing in this video is a beautiful use of colour near the beginning and end. You’ll see what I mean.Size: 17.18MB Download: Link // Youtube
These videos take hours even days to create; pulling music, auditioning it for the right feel, getting movie into an editable form, splicing clips, organizing it, working clip transitions, pulling the music line together with the visual line.
This is a lot of work.
For what?
Love
Expression
Artistry
Play
Fun
Community
Wow, I am so grateful to be on the planet with these people!
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Today in Jewish History King Hezekiah Falls Ill (548 BCE)
B"H
Nissan 12, 5768 * April 17, 2008
=================================
T O D A Y I N J U D A I S M
=================================
* Laws * Customs * Jewish History * Daily Quote * Daily Study *
Today is: Thursday, Nissan 12, 5768
=======================
Today in Jewish History
=======================
· King Hezekiah Falls Ill (548 BCE)
On this day, King Hezekiah, the greatest of all the Judeaen kings, fell seriously ill, and was informed by the Prophet Isaiah [ http://www.chabad.org/search/keyword.asp?kid=10761 ] that he would die, for G-d was displeased with the fact that Hezekiah had never married.
Hezekiah had refused to get married because he had prophetically foreseen that his children would lead the Jewish people to sin. He erred, for it is man's job to heed the commandment of procreating, and the rest is in the hands of G-d.
Hezekiah asked the prophet to pray on his behalf, but he refused, insisting that the Heavenly decree was final. The king asked the prophet to leave, saying that he had a tradition from his ancestors that one should never despair, even if a sharp sword is drawn across one's throat. The king prayed to G-d, and his prayer was accepted. G-d sent Isaiah to tell him that he would recover and that his life would be extended for fifteen years. Hezekiah recovered three days later, on the first day of Passover.
The King later married Prophet Isaiah's daughter.
Links:
Hezekiah's Last Years of Reign [ http://www.chabad.org/464025 ] The story in Kings II with commentary [ http://www.chabad.org/library/15926&showrashi=true ] More about King Hezekiah · Ezra and Followers Depart Babylon (348 BCE)
Nissan 12, 5768 * April 17, 2008
=================================
T O D A Y I N J U D A I S M
=================================
* Laws * Customs * Jewish History * Daily Quote * Daily Study *
Today is: Thursday, Nissan 12, 5768
=======================
Today in Jewish History
=======================
· King Hezekiah Falls Ill (548 BCE)
On this day, King Hezekiah, the greatest of all the Judeaen kings, fell seriously ill, and was informed by the Prophet Isaiah [ http://www.chabad.org/search/keyword.asp?kid=10761 ] that he would die, for G-d was displeased with the fact that Hezekiah had never married.
Hezekiah had refused to get married because he had prophetically foreseen that his children would lead the Jewish people to sin. He erred, for it is man's job to heed the commandment of procreating, and the rest is in the hands of G-d.
Hezekiah asked the prophet to pray on his behalf, but he refused, insisting that the Heavenly decree was final. The king asked the prophet to leave, saying that he had a tradition from his ancestors that one should never despair, even if a sharp sword is drawn across one's throat. The king prayed to G-d, and his prayer was accepted. G-d sent Isaiah to tell him that he would recover and that his life would be extended for fifteen years. Hezekiah recovered three days later, on the first day of Passover.
The King later married Prophet Isaiah's daughter.
Links:
Hezekiah's Last Years of Reign [ http://www.chabad.org/464025 ] The story in Kings II with commentary [ http://www.chabad.org/library/15926&showrashi=true ] More about King Hezekiah · Ezra and Followers Depart Babylon (348 BCE)
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
DAILY DOSE: Higher Faith
B"H
Higher Faith
------------
There is sub-rational faith --faith in dogma.
Then there is super-rational faith --intuitive knowledge, consciousness of a higher reality, a glimmer of the infinite within the finite human being.
A Daily Dose of Wisdom from the Rebbe
-words and condensation by Tzvi Freeman
Nissan 3, 5768 * April 8, 2008
Higher Faith
------------
There is sub-rational faith --faith in dogma.
Then there is super-rational faith --intuitive knowledge, consciousness of a higher reality, a glimmer of the infinite within the finite human being.
A Daily Dose of Wisdom from the Rebbe
-words and condensation by Tzvi Freeman
Nissan 3, 5768 * April 8, 2008
Thursday, April 03, 2008
DAILY DOSE: Fixed Time
B"H
Fixed Time
----------
If you're serious about something, it has a fixed time. If you're earnest about getting something done and the phone rings, you ignore it.
The spiritual side of your life is not a hobby nor a luxury --it is your purpose of existence. When you are learning Torah, or meditating or in prayer, nothing else exists.
Your spiritual career should have at least equal priority to your worldly career.
A Daily Dose of Wisdom from the Rebbe
-words and condensation by Tzvi Freeman
Adar II 27, 5768 * April 3, 2008
Fixed Time
----------
If you're serious about something, it has a fixed time. If you're earnest about getting something done and the phone rings, you ignore it.
The spiritual side of your life is not a hobby nor a luxury --it is your purpose of existence. When you are learning Torah, or meditating or in prayer, nothing else exists.
Your spiritual career should have at least equal priority to your worldly career.
A Daily Dose of Wisdom from the Rebbe
-words and condensation by Tzvi Freeman
Adar II 27, 5768 * April 3, 2008
