The Experience
Virgil said, "They can conquer who believe they can."
For me if I do not believe I can do something, then I cannot do it. A friend was helping me out and said to do some physical task. I took a look at what he was suggesting and said, nope, not going to work those are soldered in. He grabs the screwdriver and easily turns the screw. I went... ahhh, grab the screwdriver back and did the rest of the screws. For me the objective was impossible... until I saw it done. Knowing that it was possible made it possible.
One of the things that I did while I was searching around was to read books looking to find others with similar experiences. Parts of those books became stepping-stones for my consciousness. If what was suggested increased my consciousness and my joy I used it. If it dragged me down, I dumped it.
Actually, when I was doing all the reading, I had the thought that perhaps the way everyone helps out here is that they write down their own truths in books for others to benefit from. Decided I would follow their lead and a share my experiences. Decided I would make some trail markers.
For me, it's like I found this majestic path in the woods that people were just missing. It's like the main trail goes through bog and quicksand and this trail is sunny, dry, and a dance with butterflies.
So... here are the trail markers.
I grin almost constantly.
When I'm not grinning I'm smiling or laughing. I am probably grinning/smiling 98% of the time.
It seems the more I keep my conscious anchored in happiness the more it is reflected in my face.
My body is very healthy and excited rush happy.
My body feels like an instrument with a musical note being played through it. My body feels like it is vibrating. It is not noticeable to others, not like shaking. When Eckhart Tolle and I hugged I noticed that he physical trembles, like he is vibrating. My body feels like there is a warm giggling Jacuzzi bubbling at the pre-cellular level.
In the beginning I would focus my attention on my heart area, (heart charka), to find the bliss wave. Then I noticed that if I focused anywhere on my body I'd immediately grin and often laugh.
For a time at night before sleeping I would find it necessary to shift my consciousness out of the present, start to daydream, and keep my awareness out of my body, so that I could sleep. Otherwise, when I would lie down and focus say on my feet, I would suddenly be filled with energy and be wide-awake.
That seems to have passed. Or it is more unconscious now that I'm not focusing on my body when getting ready for sleep. I still enter my covers giggling and just so excited to be going to sleep and so grateful for my bed and my cat. :) I also turn my TV on to sleep timer and let part of my awareness wander with the show.
If I could have ever found a drug that produced the results my body is having... well ah.. I'll cover some of that in my history.
Now for what is going on in my head.:)
These are some of my most common inner dialogs. "I love you, I love you, I love you". "Love you goddess, love you goddess, love you, love you, love you goddess." "I love you mother, I love you Sandy Sue." "Thank you, thank you, thank you." "The goddess and I are one, our way is one, our love is one, our will is one." "Thank you everyone, thank you for being here." "I am so so so so grateful, thank you for heaven." "Thank you for taking such good care of me". "Our word is one, our will is one, our love is one."
There is a lot of singing of catchy "I love you" songs.
I have the words "I love you" in one form or another a lot in my mind and a lot of "thank you's".
Relating to the material world. I am a steward.
My only job is to stay in Goddess consciousness. The Goddess is in charge of all material sustenance. The Goddess provides all of our material needs and I am the physical agent. I am the steward. I will explain more about this later.
When I buy things or give money to people or organizations, they think it's from me, but it's not. I've tried to explain to the people around me, that it is not me, it is the Divine and I am only the steward. They don't seem to be getting it. Instead I get this praise... and really it's not me.
OK, sense of self, there is no real me. In truth I can only describe myself as the I AM.
I am like this little person inside my head whose only ability is to throw switches. Either I can throw the Ego switch and exist in hell or I can throw the Goddess switch and become an active listener.
I had a really interesting experience this summer when I flew back home to play with my family there. I had the experience of being Born Again.
I was at home with my mother, brother, step-dad and new ski boat (oooo ya). I had no conditioned responses. Instead of having an ego blocking every experience and pulling up a list of 'if this happens I feel like this' I had none. Clean slate. It was like having a brand new, never been programmed Ego. Very cool. I'll explain how this works in the mapping out consciousness part.
I get to use the secret decoder ring.
Part of the benefit of being connected is getting this Secret Decoder Ring. When I read the text of different sages and masters I can tell if they were/are in the experience and if they are I can translate it to personal experience. It is like being able to decipher anything.
I get amazing guidance.
I have both that inner voice, complete knowing, and feeling. A couple of years back I started discoursing with Buddha. We were walking along this beautiful path, discussing existence and he was calling me Baby Buddha, little Love Buddha. I stopped to watch these little song birds when one of the flew down, grabbed hold of my shirt right over my heart and burst into song. I went right into ecstasy and amazement.
I also dialog with the Goddess all the time. I enjoy asking questions about the nature of reality and get incredible answers, and saying I love you's back and forth. It was when I realized the Divine was right there/here talking with me that the opening to the Unconditional Happiness began.
There is also really handy information. I'll be on the computer and hear OK your movie is on. Sure enough, go into the living room and my movie is on.
There is also this group of experts that help out. The way I assist is to stop my ego dialog and start active listening instead. Some of the ones that I have experienced are an incredible chef guide, an awesome golf guide, and the Goddess's driver.
With all of the guidance it is really like having access to all the knowledge that is.
I have angels around all the time.
Angels are around constantly and recently they became really really apparent doing some really really clear things. I'll write more on the topic later because it's, time for sleep. More later. Love ya!
The Experience